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Tired day

Flew into your heart on~ Monday, December 6, 2010
I miss him so much! Stronger than yesterday but lesser than tml. I can't breath anymore. Can't even feel moi heart beat. I'm starting to doubt whether am I still alive...

I off the toilet's light when moi daddy was inside unknowingly. After I went back to moi room for like 5min, moi Sis received a call from daddy. Saying that someone just off his light! Both of us stare at each other for a moment then burst into laughter.

I have been asking myself the same old question again and again. Am I happy? But it seems like most of the time I'm more emo then happy. What should I do? What do I actually want? Most importantly, if I get what I want now, will I be happy? I'm not sure... Haiz... Just feel like crying out loud or go to some mountain or sea to scream out loud....

Had a chat with Anata at night. Was really unhappy and heartbroken. But what can I do? Love cannot be forced. I just wanted to be loved is that so difficult? I'm thinking if he feels weird around mi. Or even digusted when I'm with him. Then there is no point in continuing. God please lead mi the way. I do not wish to waste moi time anymore. I dun want to live for others. I wanted to live for myself. But the onli way I can do that is when I'm single. When there isn't anyone for mi to care about. Love a person for who he/she is and not what he/he is. I do not want a love that I asked for. I wanted a love to be willingly given. From deep deep down of the heart. If this simple request also cannot be done. Then it's not love anymore. What else will there be holding us together? Is there even any red line being tied on us?

Anyway, meeting up with eric from greenfeet tml to collect the stuff I ordered. Hope everything will be smooth. I'll get the item I long for! (o^^o)

Sealed Wif a Kiss~