It's Sunday, 12 December 2010. Actual planning was to meet up with Anata and go catch the movie "Let me in" with moi lil Sis. But things sometime is not in your control. I sense something was wrong the day before as he told mi that he was going for a drink. I just didn't expect it to be this fast.

At around 11am plus. We started exchanging topics. He told mi that he is sorry bcos he still can't forget his ex. Though this is not the first time for mi to hear this from him but I never deny that it still hurts. Since he has already put it these way, and by asking mi what's moi decision, he is just trying to put everything in a not so painful way for mi. I know. But no matter how euu put it, this topic will never fail to break someones heart. We broke up... I change moi fb statues and post it on wall as I do not know anyway of express moiself in any other way.

Funny thing is we still meet up later to catch a movie together. I've never ever meet up moi ex before after a break up let alone saying the very same day. I've to change moi attitude towards him so that not to give him the wrong idea. I'm just a fren, that's all. There is lots of thing fren can't do. When I meet up with him, he suggest to go tea chapter. I've Onli been there once and it's when I was in secondary school days. I'm also a person quite fond of tea and silent at times.

I noticed that he was limping. He can't walk properly. I was shock. At the same time asking,"why didn't euu tell mi that euu r hurt? I will never let euu come out like this...." but of cos I never did really said the second sentance as I swallow it back.

We played 3 rounds of snake and leader. I won 2 out of 3! Then we played Dum. I won too! Hahahax!~ it's really fun! Slowly after that we chatted more and more. I found that we can talk better when we are just fren. He started talking to mi bout his past and how he can't get over it. It really hurts. But it hurst even more seeing him like this. I hope that he is able to walk out of his past soon. No matter how much an outsider gives advises. If the person have set his mind to a No. Nothing will ever change. Nobady can change anyone unless that someone set his mind to it. So I sort of became his advisor for his past r/l.

After that we went to Vivo and watch,"Let mi in". It's showing Onli at 9.20pm so we have around 2hours time to spend from the time we bought the ticket till show time. We went to sake shushi to have our dinner. Later on we went to hagen das to have some ice-cream!~ after the ice cream we still have time so we sat on the upper floor facing santosa to enjoy the silent nite. Sang a few song and he rest his head on moi shoulder. I was stunt but dun know how to react. So I didn't react at all. I tot I was Gg to die.... Moi heart felt so heavy that I can't breath. And it's super painful becos he is right beside mi. Yet so far away... The closer he gets to mi the more painful i feel. We are no longer couples. Just fren. I dun let guy fren get so close let alone letting them lie on moi shoulder. It's like we still behave like couple but without commitment. I know very well it's wrong....

When we were watching the movie, he tried keep me accompanied when I'm scared by putting his hand on moi bag. I really want to hold him but I really have to stop all these nonsense. It's not going to help in any way.

He send mi home after the movie. I did think of giving him a last hug after saying moi good bye. He offered mi a hug instead. While hugging him, I almost burst but luckily I'm able to hold back moi tears. When I reached home and saw moi Sis. I just couldn't help it but to burst. I do not want anyone to see mi cry like this. So I hug moi Sis from her back and cry and cry.... Why am I the one who always end up in this typ of relationship. I guess I'm simply not good enough for someone to love mi and Onli mi.
Everything between us from our past ends right here and right now. What's ahead I do not know. All I can hope and wish for is good things to come moi way.

God bless

Sealed Wif a Kiss~